What would I do without you girls, I cannot imagine. Thank god for the few of you ♥ really :>

I have no inspiration whatsoever regarding what to blog about. Even my title's lame. Ice mountain water bottle sitting in front of me.

__

Medical review is finally done and there is no conclusive diagnosis for my knees. Medically proven, nothing is wrong with them, yet I continue to get the random knee pains. It's been going on for so long I really find it hard to believe that nothing is wrong with it. I'm frustrated by it yet can't tell anyone who'll understand wth it means. I'm still a private in the army cos I can't go for my IPPT as I can't run long distances without dying of pain first. No rank, no pay, no money.

People owe me money still haven't pay back. 1.5k of debts to collect man.

Last 14 days have been the most havoc fortnight of my life. Really, I'm so overwhelmed by it I'll die if I had to relive it.

Apparently lots of people have faced stumps in their relationships. Mostly break-ups. But yeah, it's not a good thing, and it certainly won't be a happy new year 2010 for them, and even myself. Not that I'm in a relationship or WERE in a relationship, but it sucks badly enough.

Omg I want to die.

I just don't get how coincidental things can be, the only thing that you dread happening just have to be otherwise, and the feeling sucks. Getting all jittery and worried twice in a row, over the same problem, sucks as well. I just don't like how things turn out sometimes, but guess what, I don't have a choice other than to brave myself through the encounters and feelings. Suck it up Liany, you just have to do it.

Life sucks, take drugs. 

Zoo by day + Zouk at night = Zook!

Well so I wouldn't be lying if I said that I'm tired. But it's a half-truth 'cos it's not the reason that I'm grumpy and irritable. I only have everyone's best interests at heart with what I say and do. I try to let my thoughts manifest into actions crudely 'cos I don't want it to be very obvious. True that I slept so damn little between the clubbing night and zoo morning. But really, I can deal with fatigue well and it's not why I'm grumpy.

Why can't people just heed advice that's given to them. I'm a seer. I can foresee things coming and I trust myself very much because of past experiences. I may not be the person in the best position, but I am the best person in a right position to judge and tell you what's wrong. Everything seems fine on the surface but do not let yourself be fooled by the mirage. The rebound will hurt so badly you will live to regret not listening to me.

To a certain extent I'm oozing complacency and aloofness, but I'm trying to help you.

I wish you would stop thinking and following your heart and just listen to my words. I definitely wish you no harm.

Happy New Year.

Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com

First post of the year shall not be too lengthy.

Happy new year all!

The past 8 days have been the wildest 8 days in any part of my life.

Xmas Eve at my house, Xmas at Jason's. Acid Bar on Monday, Butter Factory on Wednesday and last night, NYE Celebrations!

With 80% similar people too!

Lazy to post pictures or introduce their names. So it'll just be that. :D

Zoo tmr!

a brand new year yet again (:
no new year resolutions for the year (because i will most likely not adhere to it :P)

2009 had been a great year, it's when i
> worked at barossa, MOE, now cotton on and met many people
> enter NTU and completed sem 1
> got my driving license
> got hook on online shopping :( and :P
> tasted lotsa great food HEHE. (alright i am now thinking of tom yam hehe)
and the list goes on...

but last but not least, i have found a wonderful guy named lionel (:

So happy finally back home without a worry. Dad told me grandma coming see bro when he's going home already. It's like hello after so long den u come for what! Even my neighours is more concern about him la!

well,

Christmas went well afterall :D

EVE:  went to watch avatar! :D it was so nice, i teared a little! (i rarely teared for movies k)
Steamboat with dear and his friends at bugis! :D TOM YAM is loveddd! though the tom yam had way too much chili padi in it that i had sore and sexy lips :S
countdown was at minds cafe and well someone just shouted merry christmas at 12am and everyone was like 'MERRY CHRISTMAS! WOO~' and straight after, went back to play their board games lol. wouldn't consider it much of a countdown.
there was Xmas gifts exchange too! i got a very cute mini fan(picture below) while dear got his 'dream present' hahaha.


XMAS: Work from 2 to 7 (: DOUBLE DOUBLE hahahahha. Christmas dinner with qing at lot one FOODCOURT (must emphasize that) haha.

***********

you might think that i am crazy or something but yes,
i went to town 3 times this week in a row. YES 3.

checked out forever21 at 313 of course and the crowd was the craziest on monday?!
4 storeys of women stuff and yes one of my favourite fashion brands! :D

***********

saw this perfume at SASA today and it smelt really feminine and sweet!:D
Pretty by Elizabeth Arden (:



and sj got the perfume in the end!!
coz of some xmas package and me, on the other hand, is still thinking whether i should get it or not :/
worth 2 days of work! 
and my mama complained i shouldn't spend so much =.=

I really thought you would be different, but apparently I'm wrong.

Alright so Christmas 2009 has "officially" come to an end, following the party at Jason's last night. I think we all had fun, two consecutive nights of fun with 30/40% the same crowd from the previous night at my place!

I got high during my party but for the following night, the intoxication process was greatly catalysed by the presence of Timothy (Kathy's super perfect model boyfriend) who actually can bar-tend! Did I mention that he's almost a perfect person who manages to juggle his studies, work and relationship, in addition to being the best guy ever?! Like, hey he even pays for her poker game. He's setting the standard too high for us guys.

Well, what I can say is that was the peak of the whole season for me and Christmas ended on the second day. Now it's back to work at Tekong where lots of paperwork await me. The thought is depressing. I'm going through some serious withdrawal issues.

__

Somehow things went downwards spiralling after that whole incident. It's sub-consciously affecting my life, and to a certain extent the people around me, as well. I did not even want to think about you. I just wanted to lead life as per normal. But me being me, somehow I notice that I have changed since then, but it's not for the better.

I hate typing like that, where I don't mention names. But due to the weird viewership I have, I'm unable to disclose it. But here goes anyway. The only reason I don't want to get over C is because I know it's gonna be hard. But it's weird that along the way my mind kinda hinted me that I may like B. WHICH IS EVEN WEIRDER AND TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. But I still hold something for C. And I was totally crushed when something happened on Christmas Night at J's house. But I can only sit here and shut the hell up, cos I have absolutely no right to say anything, considering what happened almost exactly 3 years ago. 

Life goes full circle and sticks a bullet through my chest and another through my head.

Oh.

Home is always e best place to be in...
Yeah he can start to drink water le. Hoope he will be able to eat soon. And finally home ba.
my home is like so so so quiet. Only me and my dad was at home ytd. It feels so weird..
my mood this few days felt like a overstretched rubber band...

everything will be better de!

Haha. I think I'm an idiosyncrasy. Oops here I go again.

I'm already 20 this year, entering 21st, yet I feel that I'm a misfit. Is it just me or do people feel Emo as a default emotion instead of Happy or Neutral? There's always a depressing thought in times when my mind goes on lull. Like when I'm not talking to people, or when I'm technically doing something, but effectively not doing anything. When the mind gets the chance to wander, it'll definitely catch onto something Emo. I think it's scary because Emo is becoming a stigma that older generations have placed upon us, the E generation. They had such high hopes for the Y generation to replace the population of the post-war baby boomers, but really, is that going to be possible? Do we need someone like LKY to continue sustaining us? How will that person have to slot in? A younger person who continues everything LKY did for us, or a younger person who brings about new changes and make things different (can be better or worse). What do we really want?

With all the respect in the world, what LKY has done for us, I'd equate it to (from a freethinker's point of view) God sending us His only son, Jesus, to 'die for our sins'. Okay yeah the magnitude's that big, to me. It's catastrophic and it changed generations of Singaporeans lives. Imagine what the E generation would be like if we had no Electronic devices? Okay whatever, this is just a side track anyway. Back to myself.

I find my thinking very different from people. While I'm not the most appreciative or the person who puts in the most effort when pulling the carrot from the ground, I'm here. With my limited capability and determination, I am still here. I am who I am because that's how we differentiate an apple from another. We look the same but hey we're kinda different inside.

I guess people would say I'm an extrovert and sociable person. Well, all I can say is that I TRY to be that, cos that's really how I want my life to be like. To be filled with friends, who'll bring you joy, laughter, sadness and sorrow. I want a life that has a average of 50 but fluctuates from 0 to 100. I don't want a life that fluctuates 40 to 60, albeit it having the same average, yeah?

If there's something people are good at, it'll be what they look out for when talking/interacting with others.

The appreciative ones will gauge how appreciative others are. The understanding one will gauge others' empathy. Or at least, they will, based on what they think of themselves. Like I'm pretty understanding so I kinda expect people to be understanding. Hey, who else to compare others with but yourself, right?

I started this post, once again, with no clear-cut definition or purpose. I start all my essays and posts this same way, by just gathering momentum and ideas along the way. And also, I like to talk from a first person point of view, cos, it's me talking anyway, why use "you" instead of "I"? :D